Tandemness in Dakar and a Happy 4th!

Together in India on David's first assignment - Dec. 2000.

I have been in training for the past few weeks.  It's exhausting sitting all day and trying to absorb a ton of information.  The instructors liken it to trying to drink from a fire hose.  I am lucky because I have heard a lot of the information before.  I am part of what the State Department calls a "tandem couple."  Both my husband, David, and I are Foreign Service Officers and being part of a tandem impacts everything from assignments to allowances.

When people hear that I am part of a tandem couple they drop their heads to the side, furrow their brows and say something like, "Tandem.  That's going to be difficult."  I don't know what it's so hard for people to just be supportive.  I usually respond with, "Well, it won't be as difficult as the past eight years have been for my family because I have been resentful that I lost my career and bored as a trailing spouse."

Anyway, back to the good news.  While my peers are busy working on getting their first assignments, I have already found out where I will be posted.  We are able to be assigned to the US Embassy in Dakar, Senegal together.  I am lucky that my husband already had a job lined up for himself in Dakar for next summer and I am lucky that there was an opening for a first-tour officer.  We are very excited.

I want to get through this introductory training and get to post.  I know that I will leave before next summer and so I must start really appreciating things like celebrating the 4th of July in the United States.   This year I will be celebrating in our Nation's Capitol with Barry Manilow.   Classic.

I think 4th of July next year in West Africa will be very different. 

Together in Italy on David's last assignment before becoming part of a tandem couple - March 2008.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Hair Day

The Redhead Gets A Haircut
Originally uploaded by Jeremy Brooks

In preparation for my new job I thought I would get a haircut.   Not a big one, but something a little shorter, a little more professional and something a little easier to do in the morning as I get myself ready for work and dress and feed my daughter before school.

I have been growing my hair long for almost four years.  Until the other day my hair was the longest it had ever been.  It was well below my shoulders and I had a good cut with long layers that played well to my curly/wavy hair.  I could wear it up or down. It curled beautifully as it air dried and was smooth as silk when dried straight.

Not anymore.

I went to a new stylist.  I couldn't go to my old stylist because my Hair-guru, Rick, is in Rome.   The stylist I used when I was living in the US before has gone MIA.   I tried going to the women who run the salon in the basement of my apartment building.  They have done a good job waxing my eyebrows, maybe they could do something with the hair on my head.   When I tried to make an appointment their salon was empty and I found them in the back room waxing each other's armpits.  When I asked if I could make an appointment they asked me to come back later.   Come back later to make an appointment so I could come back a third time to actually get my hair done?  I didn't go back.

My new stylist or "The Butcher", as I like to refer to her now, listened to my likes and my concerns and my requests and proceeded to ignore every last one.   The butcher who cut my hair announced she would "texturize" it.   Texturizing I have discovered meant stripping my hair with scissors in such a way that my hair is wild and frizzy as if I walk around with my finger in an electrical socket.

I must not forget to mention the new color of my hair.  Actually it's not one color.  It's a dark red with almost blackish streaks and a subtle purple hue.   Classy.   I was going for copper or auburn. Not this time.

As soon as I got home I washed my hair.  I washed it three times in two days.  The good news is that after every washing my white towel was streaked with red.  The bad news is that my hair feels like steel wool.   I tried to deep condition it.   I tried a hot oil treatment.   I have tumbleweed sitting on my head.  (Click here for sound effect -- Do it, I swear it's priceless.)

If my despair over my hair wasn't enough, my darling husband chimed in with the following helpful conversation:

Him: "Why did you do this? Your hair looked fine the way it was."
Me: "That's not helpful."
Him: "Well, it's all uneven everywhere."
Me: "It's called LAYERS!!!!"
Him: "Well, you're going to be totally fucked when we're in Senegal and you have to explain to a stylist what you want done to your hair -- IN FRENCH!"
Me: (Silence followed by laughter because I know my hair is going to be fucked when we get to Senegal.)

I will end this blog entry with a quote from my sage and wonderful daughter.  Abigail found me crying over my hair the other night.  She said that she gets sad when I am sad.  I explained that I was sad about my hair, just like when she was sad when a classmate said she looked like a boy after her last awful haircut.

Abigail: "I love you and I think you look beautiful and your hair looks good."
Me: "Are you being nice or are you being honest?"
Abigail: "I am being nice. (pause) What's honest mean?"

9 to 5

Sorry I have been MIA for a few weeks. The day after my last post I received word that a dream of mine had finally come true. I am going back to work.

I put my career on hold when I married my husband 8 years ago, and I have been out of work since November 2003, when I left my job to give birth to my daughter. Since then, it has been difficult (actually impossible) to return to work because of resume gaps and having to move around due to my husband's job as a Foreign Service Officer.

I found myself at a dead end in this bad economy, facing another overseas departure and with rusty work skills. I couldn't get a job and I couldn't afford to go back to school. I'm a lawyer and had worked on Capitol Hill, but I couldn't get a large chain bookstore to give me a call back.

A year ago, when I was still in Rome, I signed up to take the Foreign Service Exam. I thought it was my last chance to get a new career where I could continue doing public service and living overseas. I passed the written exam last summer and in February I passed the oral exam. The past few months I have been getting my medical and security clearances. Finally on May 15th I received word that I was being offered a place in the June 22nd Foreign Service Officer training class. I accepted immediately.

Since then I have been trying to cram all sorts of errands into my last weeks as a stay-at-home-mom. I realized I need to find a summer camp for my daughter and plan for after-school care for when she returns to school in the fall. I need to figure out how I will get to work and how she will get to school. I needed to buy a work wardrobe. I have also struggled to find comfortable work shoes. Why does a shoe feel good in the store and is not quite right when you get it home?

My husband and I are constantly talking about how to make this new adventure in my life go smoothly for our daughter. When Abby found out that I got a job she said, "I think there are going to be a lot of changes and I guess I am going to have to drive myself to school." We have tried to reassure her that we still love her and we are going to take care of her. We told her that there will be some small changes for her, she won't be picked up by Mom after school and come home to watch her cartoons, but that I will be facing the biggest changes.

I am excited to meet the challenges ahead of me and to chase and find the elusive work-life balance. I am looking forward to showing my daughter that it's important to never stop chasing your dreams.

Note:  I am going to keep blogging and writing about this new phase in my life.  It's going to take me some time to get back into a posting routine with my new schedule.  In the coming weeks I hope to share with you what it's like to transition back to work, what the State Department's Foreign Service Officer orientation is like, and whether my family will still be going to Senegal next summer.  Please stay tuned and thanks for your support over the past couple of months.